Eight Things I Think I Learned In The Last 24 Hours

1) As Rob messaged me to say last night after the game, what Florida did was an absolutely remarkable achievement – nobody’s ever repeated with the same starting five, including the UCLA teams that won a thousand straight tournament games in the 1960’s and 70’s – yet they did it in such an unremarkable fashion, people aren’t going to remember it because it lacks that Final Four “moment”. I’d imagine the two most memorable moments in their two runs took place in the Sweet Sixteen games: Corey Brewer’s “And One!” against Georgetown last year and Al Horford’s sweet block against Butler this year. In any of their four Final Four games, was the opposition ever closer than a two possession game during the second half?

Ah, the problems of being too damn good.

2) Hilary Duff, when did you become so terribly boring? Was the Lizzie McGuire writing, which wasn’t amazing by any stretch of the imagination, that good that it extracted a personality from what appears to be the most boring person on the face of the earth? Your new show is somewhere between “depressing” and “the worst reality programming MTV has ever produced”, which is really saying something, since they’ve turned out some terrible stuff. Nobody cares that you don’t get to go to the Vanity Fair party because you’re going to Europe. If you want to make crappy-yet-entertaining reality television, or really any sort of media, you need to infuse it with a sort of manic energy that drives it through the ridiculousness or boring parts that are sure to pop up.

3) The Flavor of Love franchise will never die as long as VH1 is willing to forego any sort of moral scruples with exploiting crazy people and putting on terribly television (which they will) and as long as they continue to cast well, because each season always has someone you’d love to see spun off onto their own show. I Love New York’s big winner? Take A Chance on Love, starring Chance and his posse of Rico, 12-Pack and Mr. Boston. Next to a remake of American Gladiators or Legends of the Hidden Temple, that’s as gold as any television show could possibly be.

4) If you’ve ever played a video game in your life, you’ve probably played Grand Theft Auto or seen it played (And if you haven’t played it, why not? So incredibly cathartic in a sick, twisted way). Anyway, RockStar released the trailer (I love video games having trailers. It’s like a justification for my childhood) for the fourth installment, and it looks like the graphics and scale are going to be nearly unparalleled. And of course, this gives me an opportunity to post this:

5) Continuing with YouTube, this is one of the funnier ones you’ll find (props to Barnicle). Watch the entirety, and be sure to a) make sure your sound is on for the aftermath, b) notice the reaction from the studio hosts and c) realize that no one smote the reporter until she tried to cheat. Karma, people. Karma.

6) Anyone who thought Jim Tracy was somehow responsible for the Pirates’ 37-35 second half last year all got reminded about how he is as a manager. WHYG,AVS?, take it away:

9:20- Time to fire Jim Tracy. After the Nady homer, Jose Bautista hit a double down the line. Tracy then lost his mind and pinch-hit Doumit for Castillo, despite the fact that two straight righties killed Lidge. Doumit drew a walk. Tracy then brought DON KELLY up to the plate for his FIRST AT BAT EVER. This is not Kelly's fault. He should not be up in these situations. Lidge had nothing on the ball. We've got Eldred on the bench. We could still have Doumit on the bench. Instead he brings up Don Kelly. I am stunned and speechless. Kelly actually battles to a good AB and fouls off some pitches and nearly doubles down the first base line, but in the end he pops up to shallow left. That is an unforgivable move by Tracy. Don't bitch about the one run record if these are the choices you make, Jim.

Last night in class I managed to use the Pirates as an example of a business that could be a lot better if it weren’t run by complete morons at every level. Still, 1-0 is significantly better than 0-1, especially when the odds of your season mattering by the start of July are rather minimal.

7) I think LC and Whitney are actually too mature and intelligent for The Hills to be interesting anymore, and it’s about time they move on. Look at this season: other than falling for the sleazeball that is Brody Jenner, Lauren handled most of the situations with a certain calm, logical maturity, especially as soon as she realized how wrapped up in Spencer Heidi was. Less with the crying, more of the wine-drinking. Can we get Jessica a show now?

Addition: If you watched any episode of The Hills this season and haven’t read this yet, please go there now. Now.

8) I realize the odds of Green, Brewer, Noah, Horford and Donovan all coming back to Florida next season are terribly small, just as the odds that we find Durant and Oden playing on the collegiate stage next year, but for a moment, just fantasize with me. Let’s say that majorities of this year’s North Carolina, Kansas, Texas, Ohio State, Georgetown, Florida and UCLA teams all return next season, then they all add more sweet recruits (most notably Kevin Love to UCLA), then Duke tries to find some recruits who aren’t white and awkward while OJ Mayo goes insane at Southern Cal: Would that not be one of the most entertaining college basketball seasons of all-time, lead by the potential of a Florida threepeat, something that would have been decried as impossible only two and a half years ago.

As baseball season starts, the NBA playoffs loom and Hockey Night In Pittsburgh extends into the postseason for the first time in a while, I’ll have plenty to keep me occupied, but hoping that most of the great players in this year’s tournament stick around for one more year will do plenty to keep my mind occupied.