Monday, June 19, 2006

Looks Like Somebody's Got A Case of the Mondays

I need to make a pact to start posting about stuff the moment I come across it. Regardless, let’s just do more quick hits. This is really lame, but alas, I do what I must do…

Since it’s summer, you don’t have to feel bad about watching MTV: Not that I ever do anyway, but since the networks have bailed on any creative original programming, the Monday-Wednesday TenSpot offerings of Real World/Road Rules Challenge, Real World: Key West and The Hills provide the most solidly entertaining hour and a half on during the week. How did our reality superstars fare last week?

Fresh Meat: I’m not sure if I like how each elimination is spread out over two episodes. The format has proven to be not that confusing, but only drawn-out. Still, it’s great to see the Austin cast continue to be singled out, and with Wes attempting to turn into some mohawked superhero tonight, things can’t be too bad. Still, now that Danny and Melinda are no longer around to be punished – and TJ Lavin is still around to punish us – I’m not sure if it’ll be worth sticking around for.

Real World – Reason Number 19,543 That I Can’t Wait To Play Penn State on September 9th: For the outside chance that Johnny shows up, belligerently wandering around TC or some house party. I love how MTV let’s all of Tyler’s Harvard shirts crystal-clear, but blurs out our favorite frat boy’s Penn State cut-off. I think we need to have either Svetlana or Paula flip out once per episode, so judging by that, last week’s offering was a disappointment. Make with the crazy, Bunim/Murray. We love the crazy.

The Hills – Just when I thought I wouldn’t be able to stand this show, they give us “Heidi at Work”. Watching Heidi flail around miserably at her “dream job” gives you the idea of what it would be like to see Talan told he’s not graduating. The look on her face in the previews for Wednesday night when she’s first told the company is having a trip to Las Vegas, and then that she will not be attending, looks like it’ll be an all-time Liz Gateley classic. Has anybody done a big-time interview or profile of her yet, as I’d love to follow her around for a week and see what it’s like to make your money manipulating people’s lives. Like the “LC flies to New York, only to be blown off” thing wasn’t completely and totally planned, just like every other thing that happens. It’s still entertainment, I just want inside the mind of the woman whose running the show.

Living your life poolside, with cabana, can be very difficult. Especially when you're also really hot and wealthy.

(Also, I’m not sure if MTV is aware of this, but nobody gives two shits about Audrina or Brian. At least make us care about them individually before you force their dating on us. Alex or Jessica wasn’t available to entertain us? I find that incredibly difficult to believe.)

I believe in a thing called Wade: I’ve always been an unabashed Dwyane Wade supporter – knocking Pitt out of the NCAA tournament, then dropping a triple-double on Kentucky in the Elite Eight will earn my eternal respect – so it pleases me to no end to see him willing the Miami Heat to an NBA Championship, despite getting minimal help from his teammates. James Posey has been fantastic and Udonis Haslem solid, but the sieve the Glove and Jason Williams provide with their perimeter defense and the bricklaying conglomerate Shaq has invested in from the free throw line mean that any time the Heat struggle, it’s up to Wade to take things over. Should the Heat be able to steal a game in Dallas and take this series, how Riley retools this team to keep Wade around and win many more championships will be extremely interesting to see.

Still, they have to win in Dallas, and if you don’t think the combined influences of the crowd, Stackhouse, the officials and Cuban don’t get this thing to a Game Seven on Thursday night, you’re crazy. I just hope it’s not a blowout, and we get to see two more games of Dirk vs. Dwyane, trading clutch shots on the brightest of stages. Fantastic game last night, and here’s hoping we get at least one more.

One win to go...

Hollywood is still open? Really?: Again, I’m still completely disappointed with the summer movie offerings so far, but there is certainly light at the end of the tunnel. Superman Returns is getting some great early buzz, Pirates of the Caribbean 2 still looks like it will rock and the new Talladega Nights trailer reminds one of the Old School/Anchorman Will Ferrell, as opposed to the Bewitched/Kicking & Screaming Will Ferrell, and that, my friends, is a very good thing. Still, don’t try and tell me this summer hasn’t been disappoint so far from the box office perspective. Thankfully, God (and some genius investors) invented Netflix….

Netflix:Summer :: Peas:Carrots: I know Rob and Patrick have joined the Netflix party, and hopefully they’re getting as much entertainment out of it as I am. I really can’t recommend something much more than I can the internet rental service, which has been lightning-quick on their turnaround for me so far this summer. Eighteen dollars a month might seem like a lot, but when you figure your average movie rental costs three dollars, your average night at the cinema costs 8.50 and your average new DVD costs twenty, getting as many trios of DVD’s as you can possibly watch and return per month for less than a pair of Hamiltons isn’t too pricey at all.

I’ve divided my recent queue conquests between the first discs of television shows, so I have something to bike to, and old Steve McQueen and Paul Newman movies, so I can get a better concept of what “cool” is. The first season of the American Office isn’t nearly as good as the second, and is almost too painful to watch at times. Gilmore Girls – rented in a DVD exchange program to share the joy of Kristen Bell – is a little too girly for me, but I love the Gilmore matriarch and the French guy who works at the inn and reminds me endlessly of how Tony Parker would act if he were in that position and not one of an overrated NBA point guard. MacGyver is MacGyver, and deserves and entire post at some point in time, and so far Entourage has me hook, line and sinker. Going back to school, simply because I’ll always have the guillotine of “Work Still Needs Done” hanging over my head is not an inspiring thought.

Because it’s hard out here for a Steeler fan: Steeler fans, are your arms growing weary from waving those Terrible Towels as your star quarterback crashes into automobiles and your number one draft pick and number two wide receiver continually gets arrested? Need another bandwagon to hop onto after rejoining the Supah Stees Fan Club after the abysmal 2003 season when none of you cared about them and all became Colt fans? Allow me to introduce to you the 2006 Miami Dolphins. We’ve got a head coach who won a national championship in college and is a lot smarter than both Dave Wannstedt and Bill Cowher, and our rehabilitating quarterback is doing so well that wrote an article on him. Our colors are exciting, our fight song is addictive and mascot is a friendly marine mammal, so trade in those helmets with a decal on only one side and join the Miami Dolphins Fan Club!

Nick Saban welcomes all Steeler fans with open arms.

How are you using your Ivy League degree?: I’m not sure I can stress how excited I was to learn that two of the editors from TVGasm, one of the top two or three television websites on all of the internet, were Dartmouth graduates. They have an Ivy League degree, yet write for a blog known for their reality television coverage. If that doesn’t give me hope that I’m not wasting my time at Our Lady’s University, I don’t know what does.

“Open wide for some soccer!”: Fun game between Italy and the United States on Saturday from what I saw, what with the bleeding and all those shiny cards and the awesome tie – probably the best part of soccer: that most of the time, nobody has to go home a loser – but let’s please keep things in perspective. Two things that make a sporting event more interesting are A) If it’s the playoffs and B) You’re rooting for your country against a bunch of people that generally hate you. (For the USA, that pretty much constitutes the entire civilized world.)

The World Cup combines both of those into a perfect cocktail of sporting entertainment, but this is still soccer, this is still a “Once every four years” thing and they’re still managing to spread this thing out longer than the NBA playoffs. There are a couple scenarios of how the Fighting Donovans can make it to the Round of 16, but the most simple route revolves around both us and those hated Italians winning. Considering the game is at 9:55 in the morning on Thursday, I’ll have no idea what happened until I’m home and ESPNews is bombarding me with constant highlights.

(Why doesn’t my blog need to exist? Because The Onion does, and continues to produce snark like this. Also, The Simpsons love them some soccer, too, courtesy of Deadspin.)

And finally, your YouTube video of the day: From the second season finale of The Office, it’s Michael Scot accosting human resources representative Toby for shooting down his idea about presenting a check to actual boy scouts at Casino Night. I wish I could tell you how many times we watched this thirty seconds of comedic gold last night, but I lost track with the late hour and the NBA overtime. Hope this helps everyone get over their case of the Mondays.

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