"I should feel tremors of psychtitude rocking my body like a seizure."

I had all sorts of ideas about what I wanted to do with this. We were going to make it all a lament on the current summer blockbuster fare, but since it's not even summer yet, it seems silly to start worrying too much. I also wanted to really get into college football, but it seems just a bit early. And with a very crucial Game Four in the NBA Finals tonight - I'm taking the Mavs big, hoping Dwyane proves otherwise - there's little point in getting too far into that. I've been collecting all sorts of stuff linkwise, so we're just going to clear some of them off of my Mozilla tabs.

"I'm out in the world being awesome, 24/7, 365....": I know there were very few people outside of our quad that watched How I Met Your Mother, but just to show you all what you were missing, in honor of Neil Patrick Harris' 33rd birthday, a few compilations of Barney at his best. This one's shorter, and has some sweet lines, but the granddaddy of them all is this nearly-ten minute compilation of "Legendary's" and pick-up lines. Well worth your time in order to get ready to violate the 2 AM rule this weekend:



Also from YouTube, a little bit of Yellowjacket scouting: With Notre Dame making a perilious trip down to Atlanta to start the season against Georgia Tech, it's worth checking out the biggest name and biggest talent on the GT offense, Calvin Johnson. Against a secondary that sometimes shows an ugly side of absolutely porous, a man with the talents of Calvin - look at this catch - is worth noting. But a big however goes out to the fact in the last two games of the season, Johnson had two catches in each. In fact, trying to make rhyme or reason of the Yellowjackets under Chan Gailey - other than the fact they'll end up 7-5 every year, as EDSBS loves to note - is impossible. Last year, they beat Auburn - albeit, a young Auburn team - on the Plains, and proceeded to lose to Virginia Tech by 44 a few years later.

I'm nervous, but only in the way any contender should be concerned with the first game of the season - especially in primetime.

Like, OMG, they totally made fun of Big Ben...: If this article doesn't sum up the majority of what I hate about Steeler fans: that rival fans, especially those who saw their star quarterback go down on his first throw against Pittsburgh in the playoffs, might make fun of Big Ben. I won't even bring up - well, I will - that neutral fans are enjoying both the idiocy of Roethlisberger and the fact that Steeler fans are sort of, or just simply, retarded.

(At least Big Ben will be back to get roasted by the Dolphins on the 7th. Yes.)

Because supporting a Pennsylvania sports team automatically makes you "special": From Stewart Mandel's latest mailbag, a desperate Penn State fan tries to get some assurance last season wasn't an aberration:

I plead for your mercy, kind sir. I have great want to satiate my college football needs. Please post mailbag articles more often. Also, does no one believe that Penn State is a top 10 preseason pick? Seriously, dude.
-- Daniel J. Loht, Los Angeles

My dear fellow, if it is more Mailbags that thou doth desire, then more Mailbags thou shall receive. Just not until July. Sorry. As for Penn State in the top 10 ... are you smoking dope, man?

It's not that I think the Nittany Lions' return to glory last year was a fluke. On the contrary, Joe Paterno's program is definitely back on the right track. However, the 2005 Nittany Lions, much like the Larry Johnson-led 2002 squad that came within a few close calls of winning 11 or 12 games, were a senior-heavy team that endured three years of mediocrity to come together for one glorious season.

In particular, an offensive line that struggled so mightily through the nightmare '03 and '04 seasons before finally jelling in '05 must rebuild itself yet again after losing four starters to graduation. My guess is they will struggle. Coupled with similarly heavy losses on the defensive line and in the secondary, it's almost inevitable that Penn State will take a step back this season.

However, it won't be nearly as big a step back as in previous years, thanks to the program's drastically upgraded recruiting efforts over the past few seasons. No team with Paul Posluszny, Anthony Morelli, Dan Connor, Derrick Williams and Justin King is going to go 4-7. It's going to take a couple more stacked recruiting classes, however, before Penn State returns to the days where 11-win seasons are the norm.

I'm very confident we're going to destroy Penn State - we'll stuff Tony Hunt, force Morelli to throw, Tommy Z returns an interception and punches somebody in the face - but apparently, everyone thinks it'll be a good game, because the cheapest ticket price is now $605. This is amazing. Ohio State/Texas tickets are available for $399, so we've stormed past them after an early lead. I'll be monitoring this situation up until tip on the 9th.

This would be longer, but the Finals are tipping: Here's hoping for a good game, and best wishes on a great weekend, everyone. You'll be getting an extended love letter to something over the next few days.