Sunday, June 05, 2005

Epiphany, Batman-style.

Every once in a while, I impress even myself. Hard, I know, but I do it. Just little flashes of brilliance, coming from some unknown source deep in my cerebellum. After watching the Batman Begins trailer again, and reading the early reviews about how absolutely fantastic it’s going to be, I immediately began thinking about the sequel.

Crazy, I know, but I couldn’t help it because I know the new one is going to be sensational. Let’s just look at key qualities it has for a moment?

1) A fire-breathing horse – That has to be cool

2) Morgan Freeman – He never, ever disappoints

3) Scarecrow as a villain – If Christopher Nolan is directing this thing, is there anybody else you’d want as the Dark Knight’s rival?

4) Katie Holmes being smoking hot – That’s it for that one, I need not say more.

5) Liam Neeson, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman in supporting roles – If Spiderman showed anything, talented actors can work quite well in a comic book flick.

So now that I’ve convinced you Batman Begins is going to be sequel-worthy before any of us even see it, I will now move onto the sequel. You can go any number of ways with this, bet the best way to go is to pull out all the stops and bring back The Joker. However, if you do this, it must be done well.

People forget, but the original Burton-Keaton-Nicholson Batman from the late 80’s is a really good movie. Nobody could have played Joker better than Nicholson, as he was cool, insane, homicidal, eloquent, enraged and funny all at the same time. Keaton doesn’t make a bad Batman, and with Burton directing, the movie is delightfully dark and suitable to the roots. What does this mean? That if you’re going to use The Joker, he has to be fantastic.

Which leads me to the entire point of this post, to reveal who simply has to play The Joker in the second Nolan-Bale Batman effort:

Johnny Depp.

Think about it. He’s a little thin, probably, and the face isn’t big enough for the psychotic smile, but could anyone take the role and wrap themselves into it like Depp could? Make you root for him and against him all at the same time, just like Nicholson did for periods of time during the original? (Don’t tell me you didn’t want to be The Joker when he was defacing the art gallery while Prince played on the boombox, because that would be a dirty lie.) Depp would be perfect, though that isn’t saying much, since he’d be perfect for nearly every role, but somehow I think the bit of craziness we’ve seen in various Depp roles, and the flat-out insanity he’s going to play Willy Wonka with on July 15th, will make him a cut above the rest.

Johnny Depp as the Joker. A little unsettling to think of him as the full-out antagonist, but I think he’s the best heir to Nicholson’s throne of the Clown Prince of Crime.


I’m sorry for that, but if you don’t think there’ll be a Batman Begins reference in every post for the next ten days, you’re going to be really upset with me. My childhood hero is coming back to the silver screen and it’s going to be awesome. I’ve got to talk about how lovely Oakmont is, why there’s nothing better than 90-degree weather, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the Battlin’ Buccos, Bruce Campbell, grad party invitations and Heat/Pistons Game Seven, but sadly, I have work in the morning and need to stock up on some sleep so I’m good to go for the rest of the week.

Hope everyone’s weekends went well, most likely an update coming tomorrow.

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