Red Sox = Yankees

If you feel that having the second highest payroll in baseball is okay because it's not the highest, eternally choking except for one lone exception makes you special, shipping off a half dozen of the guys who made your team a winner last year is okay because you have to stay ahead of your rivals and that you're still a feel-good story - despite the fact you just sold out, and your typical supporter is now played by Jimmy Fallon, who admitted he didn't like sports - then you're probably a Red Sox fan.

And I'm sick of you. Your team wasn't the Twins, or the A's, who have minimal payrolls and still manage to compete every year. You had the second-highest payroll in the baseball. And I'm sorry that in a series that was supposed to be even - because remember, you have the SECOND HIGHEST PAYROLL IN BASEBALL - it wasn't that big of a disadvantage to go down 3-0, considering A) There was no pressure on your team from that point on, B) You had the two best pitchers in the series going in Games Five and Six and C) Torre made some terrible managerial decisions (pitching to Ortiz with an open base?!?!).

(I realize there's some lunacy to me stating "It wasn't that bad to go down 3-0" when no one has ever come back from that deficit in a real sport - hockey doesn't count - but I feel really strongly that it was the best thing that could have happened to Boston because of the great pressure they had on them, and the fact they immediately went from "Equal" to "Huge Underdog" in the course of a massive Game Three blowout.)

Some of these are stupid, but considering I really need a nap, here's 86 reasons to hate the Red Sox, if the fact they just sold out worse than the '97 Marlins by having a romantic comedy made about their World Series victory.

/end rant.