Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Packin' Superstar, That Is What You Are...

Since my packing is finished about a day earlier than I’d thought it be thanks to turning my computer room into a quasi-sweatshop, substituting small immigrant children with my 50-year old aunts and the act of stitching together Nike shirts with loading about 60 t-shirts (I told myself in May I would not take that many shirts back) into a Rubbermaid container. So, now that that’s done, I have no desire to go out to the fair and I want to curl up in my bed and go to sleep, why not ramble a little bit?

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I got to Franky’s a little late on Monday night and missed the beginning of the Steeler game in which they returned an interception and a punt to take a 14-0 lead over the Eagles. Descending into his basement, the Steeler fans were immediately all a-chatter about how awesome they were, then waited for my response.

I shrugged. “It’s just the preseason. It doesn’t really matter.”

They all started laughing and high-fiving. “We knew you’d say that!!!!” So, so happy that they properly predicted the response that any knowledgeable NFL fan would recite when someone gets too excited or too depressed about the preseason. Other than some season-ending injury, ala Mike Vick, Chad Pennington, Rex Grossman, there isn’t a whole lot decided at the top of the depth chart in the preseason.

So while it’s absolutely fantastic the Steelers beat the Eagles 38-31, it means very little as far as their ultimate destinations this season mean. Although Dill adamantly claimed that “This was still football, you’re still blocking and running and stuff”, I’m not sure if he realizes that nobody runs their exotic blitzes, or their cleverest schemes or their best plays during the preseason. Why would you waste a play you could pull out in a close Week Nine game against the third string Eagles in the preseason? I mean, you could agree with him, but he still doesn’t understand why a 4-3 defense continues to struggle with my four wide receiver sets in NCAA 2006, so football smart he is not.

Of course, if we are claiming this is a real game, then you should probably be pretty upset that your first team offense did next to nothing, or that once McNabb got into a rhythm, he took a wide receiver corps that could have featured me in a prominent role and drove right down the field against the Steel Curtain. (Why was this? Oh, you weren’t using your most advanced blitzes and schemes because it’s the preseason.)

I don’t know if anything can make my point clearer than by pointing out the fact that the New England Patriots lost their last three preseason games by a combined score of 82-20, and were so concerned about how they faired in their preseason opener this year that Tom Brady didn’t even play. Again, I’m sure that 1-3 preseason last year really hurt the Patriots’ chances of repeating as World Champions, having about as much effect as having to play the AFC Championship game in Pittsburgh.

So Steeler fans, you know I love you. The fact you’ll bandwagon right back onto a 15 win team after buying Peyton Manning jerseys when the team is 6-10 shows that you’re willing to change, and that’s a good thing in this modern society, so I’m going to ask a huge favor. The Dolphins come into town this weekend, and sadly, I won’t be able to take my Aunt Laura up on her offer of going with her because I’ll be settling in back out at school, but please promise me something, and I’ll promise the same: Regardless of how many times we sack Big Ben or how many times you intercept AJ Feeley, lets just wait until the regular season for the trash talking.

Deal? Fantastic. Now let’s get ready for some football.

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I really was a lot more excited when I first read this headline, but I don’t even know who the heck this guy is. He must have been from one of the crappy Power Rangers spin-offs, not the original, because he is no David Yost or Austin St. John. I’m pretty sure there wouldn’t have been a crazier, scary, awkwardly-hilarious story than if the original Pink Ranger had strapped some people to an anchor and dropped them into the ocean.

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Here’s a lovely article on my fiancé, although you’re going to need a subscription to read it. By subscription, I mean you have to just give them your e-mail and make a password. You really should have passwords to all the various newspapers around the country, if only for the various sports and entertainment articles you can find there.

In regards to the actual article, I'm more than willing to forgive the fact Rachel's Canadian. Actually, I think it's fantastic, because now we get free health care. Score.

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I want to do a “Songs of Summer” countdown, but it’s kind of pointless since everybody knows Mariah Carey will be at the top, and with good reason. Is there anybody that doesn’t enjoy the remix of “We Belong Together”? I mean, I’m sure there are, but anybody that isn’t trying to be a tough guy/artsy music critic? I’m still all for the summer countdown, but there’s one more ranking I want to get out of the way before I go that doesn’t involve football or Top 40 tracks. Maybe tonight or tomorrow morning I’ll get that put together.

Well, I’d like to make this longer, but I desperately need to get a shower and a quick nap, so I’ll be sure and attempt to post one last time before I head back out to ND Friday morning. So pumped right now.

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